Hey Hugh!

I am usually looking at these kinds of topics out of a general fear of wasting time and my life, but it’s definitely these occurrences of death that deliver these lessons right to my door and show me how fragile life is, and death indiscriminate. I try to think of it as “the universe is on your side until it isn’t” rather than seeing a cold uncaring world that can take you at any moment. Most of the time, things are ok.

More about the meaning we attach… we can be depressed about it for a long time thinking the world shouldn’t be this way, or we can use it as a drive to fully life our own lives and be serious in developing an idea of what that means to us.

The deaths of others are always going to be sad for a while though, perhaps a long time and that needs to just be accepted and felt. If we attach a meaning that tells us reality needs to change rather than what we can learn, we will be in trouble. Also if we feel we have to try to turn it into a good thing when it wasn’t, in order for us to think we can accept it is clinging onto a fantasy that the world is always good and there’s a happy ending.

I just lets the truths of what happened, the implications of that, and what could happen sink into me rather than doing any mental gymnastics.

I hear you man. I’m 27 and my perception is changing a lot. I’m obsessed with learning about values and political perspectives, as well as self-actualisation… while trying to confront personal demons. You have any insightful perspectives from going through it or want to add anything?

Thanks for reaching out!