I don't think I really disagree with that first thing you said, but I want to mention that I think it is an assumption to say it is low self-esteem if a man cares about the past. If a man is idealistic, romantic, and believes sex is shared as a gift, and then he learns his girlfriend jerked off two of his friends in a club bathroom stall the week before they met, it is not low self-esteem but the collapse of the meaning he is searching for in a relationship.

If tolerance of sexual history is a measure of self-esteem, then the most secure men in society will have no problem committing to former prostitutes - some do but this is not generally the way it works. It is similar to the argument that sexual jealousy is always a symptom of some "fragile masculinity". But this implies the most secure man can let his wife have sex with other men and remain unwavered.

Many men care about this stuff. The problem is that they are not allowed to care by modern standards because it implies women have to alter their behavior to be worthy of a respectable man. In the past perhaps they had more power to shape women's behaviour in an unfair manner, and it's true that some people don't care and they also probably view sex as more mechanical, but those who view sex as more important and spiritual believe how we use it affects us on an extremely deep level.

As for leaving comments like this on male posts, it is not the gender of the person but the ideas that impel me to respond. With feminist ideas it is commonly women who are the writers. However, I have challenged plenty of men on various topics.