The truth is virginity does exist. Usually referring to penetration of the vagina with a penis (I can’t believe I’m explaining this) as that’s by far the most common and life generating form of the sexual experience. A hymen is a pretty reliable way to check virginity and it would overwhelmingly be a penis that ‘breaks’ or alters it in some form. If virginity however was solely dependent on the hymen breaking I’m sure a few household or mail order items are responsible for some people’s “first times”, but thankfully this isn’t how we define it.
In modern times, losing virginity entails a different action per circumstance or sexual identity. For gay men it’s this and lesbian women, that etc. It’s the activity deemed by the particular community a complete and standard sexual experience. It doesn’t mean the whole idea of virginity is redundant because it changes per context. Although the context changes, it is always tied to some definite intimate physical action involving two people.
I think what this article is really doing is explaining that women don’t want to be solely valued by their bodies and what they have done with them… at all. Many don’t want to have responsibility in these choices for any negative cultural attitudes. They don’t want to be subject to judgement or shame because they don’t believe there are any true moral grounds for it.
This is fair in part because women — and all people — are multidimensional, not merely sexual objects. It isn’t a good experience to have a large part of you rendered obsolete from merely the sexual aspect, especially if you yourself have deemed it as having no special significance. However, sex and sexuality are incredibly important dimensions of life and relate to shame, guilt, power, and status because of how embedded in society, psychology, and nature they are and the consequences (e.g. biological) they have.
Many feminists seem to want to eradicate these ideas to liberate sex from all traditional moral constraints and perspectives, but seemingly only for women.
Men are still shamed for being virgins as much as women are shamed for not being one. Men are guilted for their sexual desires and what attracts them — as well as are disempowered with their character assassinated in the public eye regarding any allegations.
If not a sense of exploitation of something so core, personal, vulnerable… even pure, why such anger? The passion and zeal of the backlash of sexual misconduct affirms its value by those also pushing its meaninglessness.
You can’t have no shame in engaging any way you like, but a hint of a boundary overstepped invoking the inquisition. You can’t say sex is so casual but if there’s any kind of mistake you are instantly condemned to the second circle of hell.
Keeping tabs on your daughter's virginity is way overboard. It’s much better to relate your own values and help her to develop hers. There’s nothing beyond that that you can do.
